Tag Archives: unemployment

The Cliché Post About How It’s Okay To Not Have Everything Figured Out at 22 Except Is It Really Okay?!! Oh God, Someone Employ Me!

I am currently unemployed, which is a terrible, terrifying thing. As someone who has been working at least part-time since she was 13, finding myself suddenly in the absence of a cash flow has been a black hole of despair. I mean, I guess unemployment is scary for anyone, but for me, an over-achiever with anal parents and an impeccable grade history, being unemployed at 22 and unable to get even an assistant job in the industry I want…well, let’s just say my parents would take it better if I told them I was pregnant and Carrot Top was the father. To put it bluntly, I feel like a loser and am constantly plagued with thoughts like, What if I never get another job ever again? What if I have to abandon my dream of writing and fall on my backup plan of becoming a zookeeper? What if I’m a bad zookeeper? What if I have to move in with my mother? Who will show up to my funeral?? And from there it’s a quick hop and a jump to writing my will. Man Friend says I’m being too hard on myself, so I put together a list of pros and cons to prove to him that I’m not being hard on myself, my life is, in fact, shit:

Pro: I have time to work on my writing
Con: By “writing” I mean “browse Facebook and envy those more employable than me”

Pro: I have time to do household errands
Con: This means spending all the money I have left on things like finally getting my car’s steering wheel to stop listing to the left, buying art for our all-white-mental-hospital walls, and adopting a cat (no really, I adopted a cat)

Pro: I have time to network with people
Con: A friend who is writing on a show introduced me to the other writers and when they asked what show I was writing for, I had to respond with, “Oh, I’m actually just…developing from home…”

Pro: I have more time to exercise
Con: I have more time to lament about the current state of my life

Pro: I have time to submit article ideas to websites I love
Con: They don’t like my article ideas

Pro: I have time to keep the house clean and cook more
Con: When Boyfriend comes home and the house looks like a war zone and we’re having leftovers for dinner, I can’t exactly pretend my day was productive

Pro: I have the ability to take a job on last-minute notice
Con: No is offering me a job on last-minute notice

The good news is I just found out I got an internship on the Warner Bros lot. The bad news is it’s unpaid and I’ll be the only college-graduate intern, which basically means my life is now a Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson comedy. Here’s to hoping in twenty years I can joke about that stint I was an unemployed 22-year-old intern while lounging in my mansion surrounded by thirty cats.

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