Tag Archives: 22 years old and my life is already over

The Cliché Post About How It’s Okay To Not Have Everything Figured Out at 22 Except Is It Really Okay?!! Oh God, Someone Employ Me!

I am currently unemployed, which is a terrible, terrifying thing. As someone who has been working at least part-time since she was 13, finding myself suddenly in the absence of a cash flow has been a black hole of despair. I mean, I guess unemployment is scary for anyone, but for me, an over-achiever with anal parents and an impeccable grade history, being unemployed at 22 and unable to get even an assistant job in the industry I want…well, let’s just say my parents would take it better if I told them I was pregnant and Carrot Top was the father. To put it bluntly, I feel like a loser and am constantly plagued with thoughts like, What if I never get another job ever again? What if I have to abandon my dream of writing and fall on my backup plan of becoming a zookeeper? What if I’m a bad zookeeper? What if I have to move in with my mother? Who will show up to my funeral?? And from there it’s a quick hop and a jump to writing my will. Man Friend says I’m being too hard on myself, so I put together a list of pros and cons to prove to him that I’m not being hard on myself, my life is, in fact, shit:

Pro: I have time to work on my writing
Con: By “writing” I mean “browse Facebook and envy those more employable than me”

Pro: I have time to do household errands
Con: This means spending all the money I have left on things like finally getting my car’s steering wheel to stop listing to the left, buying art for our all-white-mental-hospital walls, and adopting a cat (no really, I adopted a cat)

Pro: I have time to network with people
Con: A friend who is writing on a show introduced me to the other writers and when they asked what show I was writing for, I had to respond with, “Oh, I’m actually just…developing from home…”

Pro: I have more time to exercise
Con: I have more time to lament about the current state of my life

Pro: I have time to submit article ideas to websites I love
Con: They don’t like my article ideas

Pro: I have time to keep the house clean and cook more
Con: When Boyfriend comes home and the house looks like a war zone and we’re having leftovers for dinner, I can’t exactly pretend my day was productive

Pro: I have the ability to take a job on last-minute notice
Con: No is offering me a job on last-minute notice

The good news is I just found out I got an internship on the Warner Bros lot. The bad news is it’s unpaid and I’ll be the only college-graduate intern, which basically means my life is now a Vince Vaughn/Owen Wilson comedy. Here’s to hoping in twenty years I can joke about that stint I was an unemployed 22-year-old intern while lounging in my mansion surrounded by thirty cats.

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