I’m pretty sure I’m the stereotypical guy in every relationship. It doesn’t help that to start off I’m not a very “girly” person. I rarely wear makeup, I fail at shaving my legs consistently, and when I try and shop for semi-nice clothes I always end up buying six graphic t-shirts. I literally called my mother the other day to ask if it was okay to pee while wearing a tampon (The answer is Yes, or in my mother’s words, “What are you, 12? The urethra is a completely different thing from your uterus”). That’s how bad I am at being a girl.
None of this really bothers me, though. What bothers me is that I always seem to have a higher sex drive than all the guys I date. Don’t get me wrong; I’m definitely not obsessed with sex or anything. I’m just always the one to start it. And if we go a certain number of days without sex, the number is like one of those flipcharts at a warehouse, except instead of Days Without Injury, it’s Days Without Sex. This was first called to my attention when an Ex and I were doing a Seventeen Magazine Couples Quiz. Yes, I want to kill myself right now too. So, we were doing this stupid quiz, and one of the questions was, “Would you say your sex drive is low, normal, or high?” Ex subsequently puts his foot in his mouth and replies, “Yours is definitely higher than mine.” I had a sudden flashback montage reliving all of our Sexy Times in which, yep, I definitely started it every time. I became instantly embarrassed at my apparent tendency to be a sex-crazed horndog (although this shouldn’t have come as a surprise considering I told a guy I loved him just to get in his pants).
Since that moment, I’ve been acutely aware that I seem to have a higher sex drive than most of the boys I date. (Thanks Seventeen Magazine, for ruining my life one couples quiz at a time). I’m the one trying to feel up my boyfriend during a movie while he distractedly pushes my hand away so he can appreciate the dialogue. I’m the one trying to make out with my boyfriend at eleven pm while he explains he has work in the morning and has to get up early. And I’m the one who gets antsy if we haven’t had sex in a week and worries why it doesn’t seem to bother him in the slightest. It wasn’t until I had a conversation with a female friend who echoed my sentiments that I didn’t feel like a complete freak. And honestly maybe it just seems weird because in our culture, guys are the ones who are typically portrayed as wanting sex all the time. Well, whatever. I have now come to terms with the fact that, yes, I have a higher sex drive than the boys I date. No, it does not mean I’m a sex addict. No, it does not mean they’re not attracted to me. Yes, I need to learn how to properly masturbate and get over my fear of vibrators. But that’s a story for another post.