Here’s my first post documenting things that Boyfriend’s roommate says (who we will refer to as Fluffy to protect his identity). At the risk of getting sued, let me clarify right now that these aren’t exact quotes; they’re damn near perfect, but until I start whipping out the recorder every time he opens his mouth, the quotes will be from what I remember.
First of all, let me introduce you to Fluffy. He’s the chillest guy I know (the kind that annoyingly gets along with everyone. No really, someone could probably slap him in the face and he’d be cool with it). He watches Animal Planet for fun, he loves to party, and he wears pretentious clothes without being pretentious about it. Naturally, you can never tell if he’s high or not. But overall, he’s one of the nicest, most genuine people I’ve had the fortune to meet and these quotes are more of an homage than a parody.
Here are some Fluffy-isms to get you better acquainted : “Later Skaters.” “Word.” “Bueno.” “The word is bueno.” See what I mean? A college guy cool enough to get away with saying “Later Skaters” is a rare thing to find. So, without further ado, Fluffy:
(text from) FLUFFY: Happy Birthday ye Woodworth wench! ME: Who is this? FLUFFY: [Fluffy]…the birthday poet pirate.
[on football players who fumble] “You know what they should practice with? Babies. They wouldn’t fumble a baby.”
“Dude, did you hear our neighbors last night? They were partying from like 11 pm until 4. I kept waking up every half-hour and wishing I was partying that hard.”
“I was walking on the row and there were so many slooty [slutty, pronounced slooty, like a boss] Santas walking around.”
ME: It smells so good in here. FLUFFY: That’s what happens when you grill human meat.
“Shit is getting buckwild out here!”
More to come, not to worry. Enjoy the taste of Fluffy for now and hopefully I’ll collect some more quotes soon.